


skinny love

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: I couldn't help but write this, M/M, RIP, Sad Harry, Sad Niall, So much angst, no fluff at all beware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7318699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't hang up on me please"</p><p>Niall can feel his throat tighten at the sound of his voice, it's been weeks, months even since he's heard his voice, his chest feels like its caving in and his heart feels heavy and painful. He can't breath for a moment his head is spinning and he's afraid that if he stands up he'll collapse in a pile of limbs and tears and heartbreak. </p><p>or harry calls niall after six months of no contact</p>
            </blockquote>





	skinny love

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry in advance. 
> 
> I hope my narry mutuals dont block me

"Don't hang up on me please"

Niall can feel his throat tighten at the sound of his voice, it's been weeks, months even since he's heard his voice, his chest feels like its caving in and his heart feels heavy and painful. He can't breathe for a moment his head is spinning and he's afraid that if he stands up he'll collapse in a pile of limbs and tears and heartbreak. 

He squints his eyes closing them tight as the sunlight hits them and it sets a pain off behind his sockets. He wasn't ready for this today. He wasn't prepared to hear Harrys voice after so long of not hearing his sweet deep raspy tone that used to sing to him and whisper loving secrets into his ear. He wasn't prepared for Harry to call him. He's shocked that he still has his number he wonders if his contact picture is still a selfie they took way past midnight when they were laying together in a random hotel. 

"what" he chokes out barley above a whisper he curses himself when his voice cracks unpleasantly his tone still thick with sleep and he can feel the hangover he most definitely has starting to show through, his head is pounding, but maybe that's just the effect harry has on him. 

"Niall..." Harry whispers back to him he sounds sad, upset even. Niall wants to ask Harry why the hell he decided to call, why now? 

"I'm surprised you still have my number after you completely blocked me from every other aspect of your life" he has the courage to say back trying to sit to stand up out of his stuffy bed and close the god damn blinds that are letting the sunlight through.  
He hears Harry take a breathe his words stuttering and Niall supposes he's mulling over what to say, and that's when he realises the reason he can't sit up is because he has a strong hand holding onto his waist gently and oh- that explains it. 

"Don't- just listen to me Niall please?" Harry's voice cracks down the phone he sniffles and Niall hopes he just has some sort of cold, or hay fever because he hates it when Harry cries he hates how he's not wherever he is to comfort him but no- he shakes his head, harry doesn't deserve his comfort- not anymore at least not right now.

"What are you doing Harry?" Niall sighs pulling the blanket over his head and laying his head on the smooth chest beside him closing his eyes to will the headache away. He smiles gently as the hand holding his hip moves to wrap around his waist and pull his closer. This is nice he thinks, he isn't used to this kind of contact anymore, not since Harry walked out on him and took his heart with him. 

"I'm lying in bed in this hotel room in Dunkirk, and I just, I can't stop thinking of you, you keep running through my head and you won't stop-" Niall cuts him off with a sigh, Harry is obviously drunk, or has been drinking, and if he had called Niall up in January telling him these things his heart would of lifted and his cheeks would of turned a little pink, he would be hiding his face into his pillow to conceal his small smile, but not anymore, he's a big boy he knows when someone is making a fool of him- or using him in Harrys case. 

"You know that's not what I mean Harry, why are you calling me after six months of pretending I'm non existent" Niall says quietly and he can already feel his eyes filling with tears he refuses to let fall, he's done crying over Harry, he's done being a second choice. Always Harry's second choice. 

"I was scared Niall, I'm still so scared, I'm lonely and I just- fuck I miss you so much, I can't cope without you" Harrys sobs gently his voice cracking and he's in the border of hysterical. Niall forces the hand holding him off his waist and stands up kissing Conors cheek as he groans making grabby hands for Nialls body again. he needs a little privacy to talk to Harry he can't risk Conor hearing him. 

"Harry please calm down breathe for me" Niall says in the most gentle tone he can while throwing on a large jumper that he's sure belongs to Louis, it's quite cold in his house so early and he's planning on sitting on the patio to talk. 

"That's the thing! I can't do it without you Niall, it feels like I can't breathe without you" Harry whispers so quietly Niall has to strain his ears to catch his voice. He swallows thickly opening a packet of painkillers he finally retrieved from a draw in his kitchen hoping they'll ease his headache away. He takes them dry swallowing them down quick, he feels dizzy at Harry's words it reminds him of late nights and promises Harry whispered to him in the dark with his hands holding Niall's body protectively to his. 

"Why are you doing this now Harry? Why are you breaking my heart all over again?" Niall replies stepping outside to sit on a random chair in his garden. The morning air clears his head a little makes the tears dry that have fallen on his cheeks. 

"because I miss you? because I love you?" Harry says as if Niall should know these things says it as if he's offended that Niall would even ask such a question. Nialls breath catches and he feels like his lungs are collapsing and his legs are weak. Harry can't do this to him, not when he's just started moving on. not now. 

"you played me Harry, you strung me along for more than a year! You made me believe you were in love with me too" Niall whispers closing his eyes as more tears escape his eyes and he let's them fall, he balls his fist into the pocket of his jumper to stop a sob leaving his mouth, he doesn't want to seem weak he refuses. 

Harry let's out another cry and starts whimpering out small "no,no,no's" over and over and it's breaking Nialls heart making him cry even more at the sound of Harry's voice so broken. 

"I was in love with you, god I was so in love with you, I'm still so in love with you" Harry slurs letting out slight hiccups and Niall doesn't want to think about what harry just said because it builds up his heart and breaks it all at the same time, it makes him harshly bite his tongue to stop crying out to stop himself from screaming at the pitch of his lungs. He can't do this now he won't. 

"You dropped me the second we went on break, you forgot about me like I meant nothing when you meant everything to me, you were my everything Harry" Niall admits willing his voice to stay the one tempo and not turn high pitched due to tears. 

He feels like how he felt back in January, when he was freshly heartbroken and didn't know what to do with himself, when he was forced to continue his plans to go back backing when all he wanted to do was sit by himself and cry and flick through his camera roll filled with pictures of Harry and pictures together they had taken. He's deleted them since then. 

"Don't say that, please don't say that, I could never forget you" Harry sobs loudly Niall pulls the phone away from his ear laying it on his thigh and he rubs his hands over his face to calm himself down. Harry always seems to fuck him up in the worst ways, he knows how to break him in two, he doesn't seem to know how much he's effecting Niall at the moment. 

"Well you did, you forget about me and shacked off to a bloody island somewhere floating on the ocean for the whole world to document, with your fucking model ex, you really expected me to wait for you? You thought I'd sit at home like an obedient puppy waiting for you to finally remember me?" 

Niall starts crying at his own words finally letting out everything he's wanted to say for months. He feels a sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. 

"No! No, please just- I was stupid, I didn't know what I wanted, but I know now Niall, please, I want you, I want you always, I want you in every way possible I want your heart again I want you to have mine, I need you Niall, I need you so bad" Harry rushes stumbling over his words but Niall knows he means them, he doesn't want to believe them, he wants to scoff and hang up on Harry, he wants to go back into his bedroom and cuddle with Conor he wants to forget about Harry and focus on his new love, but he can't, Harry has a pull on him that won't go away, he hates to admit it but it's true. He can't forget about Harry like he forgot about him. 

"I'm happy now Harry can't you see I'm trying to move on?" 

"I don't want you too, I don't want you to move on from me, I know I sound selfish but it's the truth" Harry says quietly his voice so low and he sounds so broken that Niall can't take it, he can't. 

"You're drunk" Niall says back laying on head on his hands his mind running in circles 

"I've had one glass of wine Niall I'm hardly even tipsy" Harry shoots back and Niall just listens to his harsh breathing for a moment, it calms him. 

"I'm happier now Harry can't you see?" Because it's true, he was always on edge, always sneaking round always anxious, of course at first Harry made him more happy than he's ever been, made him feel so special and loved and beautiful. Conor does that now, he makes Niall feel special and loved and so pretty, makes him blush and smile and laugh. 

"I want to make you happy" Harry sobs lowly "I want to be the reason you're happy Niall" 

Niall breaks all over again. 

"I have to go Harry" he whispers wiping at the tears and taking a deep breath even tho he knows the moment he gets off the phone he'll lock himself in his bathroom and cry his heart out until Conor finds him. 

"Just tell me who he is? Please" Harry says more quietly than ever and Niall knows what he means he isn't going to play dumb.  
He knows Harry sort of knows about Conor. No doubt Louis had told him, or he might have saw some things circling around social media. He hopes it's the latter. 

The thing is Conor is lovely, he's smart and kind, he treats Niall good and makes him feel giddy, he makes him smile when all he wants to do is hide under his blanket and not go out for days. He supports Niall with all the charity work he's been doing lately. He met Conor at a nightclub, Deo introduced them amd straight away he reminded Niall of Harry (he tries to tell himself that's not what first drew him to Conor) that night they took a taxi back to his and ended up hooking up right in Niall's living room.  
He made him forget about Harry for a moment. They're not serious, not yet at least but there's something there. 

"I'm not dating him" Niall says quietly after a few moments. 

"But you want too?" Harry says back his voice cracking but he clears his throat seconds later. 

 

"He's good for me"

"and I'm not?" 

Niall walks in circles around his garden before eventually sitting down on the grass, he must look a right sight he thinks.  
Harry was so good for him, they were so good for each other, they fit so well like they were made for each other, a voice in the back of his mind reminds him they still are, they're still made for each other. 

"You used to be" 

-

Niall quietly gets back into bed after he's washed his face with cold water and brushed his teeth, his eyes were still red his breathe was still shaking and he felt broken but also kind of complete at the same time.  
He gently cuddled closer to Conors warm body but it felt different. Conors arms wrapped around his waist pulling his back to his chest gently kissing his shoulder blade. 

"Who were you talking too?" 

Niall sighed staring at his phone on the bedside cabinet contemplating if he was wrong for saving Harry's number back on his phone. 

"Nobody important really"


End file.
